How to Avoid Divorce and Save Your Family

Any happy marriage can be overtaken by various kinds of crises and difficulties, few people are ready for them and know how to solve them in an environmentally friendly way for the relationship and each of the partners. One of the ways to solve difficulties in a couple that wants to get a divorce.

When it comes to divorce, couples have a few major trends::

  1. Some people want to get a divorce sooner and don’t intend to find out anything.
  2. The latter want to find a solution and save their family.
  3. In the third case, one of the spouses wants a divorce, and the second wants to keep the family, this also happens.

Thoughts about divorce can appear for a variety of reasons: the birth of a child, an unstable financial situation, fading feelings, etc.

But it happens that instead of a divorce, people suddenly remember all the good things that happened, and decide to try to save the relationship.

But it is worth understanding that if you have thoughts about divorce in a relationship, this is definitely a reason to think about what is happening in a relationship and how it can or cannot be changed!

Marriage is the mutual movement of both partners to each other, the solution of joint issues and tasks. The same movement will be the path of preserving the family if the partners decide to keep the marriage.

Divorce is one of the quickest, but most difficult and not always suitable decisions for a couple. This decision comes at a time of interpersonal problems.

Today we will tell you about possible ways to deal with the difficulties that have arisen in the relationship and solutions if the couple does not want to divorce, but does not see any other ways besides divorce.

To save a marriage, sometimes it is enough for each of the partners to try to save the family, even if the application for divorce has already been written!

Reasons

  • Various kinds of addictions of one of the partners (alcohol, gambling, drug addiction).
  • Emotional, psychological, or physical abuse.
  • Marital infidelity. One of the most common reasons for divorce.
  • Inability to have children. Becoming a parent is the desire of many spouses, and the inability to realize this in a couple often becomes the reason for parting.
  • Financial difficulties. Instability of the financial situation, and lack of money is a weighty arguments for many to file for divorce.
  • Frequent, long business trips of one of the spouses.
  • Insufficient communication in a couple. Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. The impossibility of a high-quality dialogue in a couple leads to irritation and frustration in the partner.
  • Inability to reach an agreement. Often people can not find common ground on all domestic, financial and relationship issues, and then divorce becomes the only solution for them.
  • The difference in values, goals, and aspirations.
  • Unfulfilled expectations. People often enter a marriage with all sorts of expectations, illusions, and fantasies about their partner. Later I come across the fact that their fantasies and expectations are far from reality, not wanting to agree with this or change something, people choose to divorce.
  • Lack of intimacy in a couple. When partners live as neighbours, do not take an interest in each other’s lives, and do not share events and feelings. When a couple lacks support and emotional closeness, the ability to be different and be understood and heard, all can lead to separation.
  • Inequality in relationships. This usually results from a lack of agreement on everyone’s contribution to a particular area of the couple. When one person seems to be doing more for the relationship than the other, it can cause resentment and anger at the partner.
  • Lack of preparation for marriage.
  • Sexual dissatisfaction. A different sexual constitution and unwillingness to seek a solution can lead to infidelity and, as a result, divorce. Shame speaks about their sexual needs, resentment that the other did not guess and did not realize, as a result of conflicts, the tension leading to separation.
  • Change in the health status of one of the spouses. Not everyone is ready to withstand the illness of a partner, his changes are physical changes. Indicate care and support to the extent that certain illnesses require it.
See also  5 Tips for Avoiding Divorce

7 recommendations of a psychologist, what to do

Make it clear what you want:

  1. Improve the quality of your relationships. Set up new agreements. Learn to listen and listen? In this case, you need to start with yourself. Your partner can join in and you will learn to dance the new dance of your relationship. This process is quite slow but as efficient as possible.
  2. Return everything as before. It’s worth thinking about 100 times. If you are thinking about divorce, then most likely the way it was before is definitely not suitable for each of you and your couple.

Options for actions aimed at preserving the relationship:

  1. It is important for you to reflect and make an informed decision to save your marriage. Ask yourself these questions::
  • Why do I want to save my marriage? If out of fear or because you have children together and a mortgage. Ask yourself again, do you really want to keep your marriage with this particular person, or do you want to stay married because you are afraid and don’t know how to continue your life?
  • If you realize that this is a true desire that comes from a love for your partner, then move on.
  1. Open dialogue with your partner. Clarification of such points:
  • What’s wrong with each of you in your relationship?
  • How can each of you see a comfortable relationship for them?

Important! Don’t interrupt when the other person is talking. Don’t evaluate your partner’s words and utterances. Speak from the Self-position that you feel, that you want.

  1. Think about what exactly your contribution is to the fact that you have now decided to divorce. If it seems to you that only the partner is to blame for everything, ask yourself this question again! Remember, a relationship is a contribution of two people, no matter what happens, happiness or grief, each of the partners has done something for it.
  2. Agree on new responsibilities that each of you will do for the benefit of your family. Here it is best to proceed from the preferences and skills of each of the partners. Someone likes to clean, someone likes to cook. So be it.
  3. Dialogue. If you are unable to meet your agreements or fulfil your previously agreed responsibilities, discuss this and re-negotiate. Remember that dialogue is the best way to avoid many conflicts and tension in a couple.
  4. Collaboration and separation. Set boundaries for each partner’s personal space. Everyone needs their own private secluded space that is not accessible to the others. And it is also important that the couple has time together. You can watch football together or cook dinner on Fridays. Create family rituals.
  5. Contact a specialist. The support of a psychologist will smooth out the rough edges in the process of saving the family.
See also  5 Tips for Avoiding Divorce

Start from the beginning, get to know your partner, and get interested in their interests and values. Try to look at it as if under a microscope, discarding your expectations and illusions, which often serve as firewood that provoke conflicts between partners. The other is different, remember that. Of course, at the beginning of a relationship, everyone shows off their best qualities.

But after a few years of living together, people relax and more and more appear their essence, stop playing the role of perfection.  This is what often leads to divorce because we remember the partner differently, and it is difficult for us to accept his new and unexpected manifestations. The most productive way to avoid divorce is to allow yourself and the other to express themselves, and their rough edges.

Yes, it may not suit you, and then, of course, divorce is inevitable! But if you manage to be curious about your partner and find the right firm for your relationship, then you will definitely save your marriage and be happy enough in it.

Is divorce inevitable after infidelity?

Divorce in case of infidelity can be avoided, but not always and not for everyone!

Cheating is the point of no return for a couple. This is a place for a complete reset of relationships. Only partners can make a clear decision whether to divorce or keep their families together. When discovering the fact of infidelity, it is important not to rush and not make hasty conclusions and decisions, because, after the emotional heat, you can come to the understanding that divorce was not the only solution.

See also  5 Tips for Avoiding Divorce

Of course, it is important to understand that infidelities do not just happen, they always have a number of reasons and are rather a consequence of such situations:

  • Sexual dissatisfaction. The difference in sexual temperaments.
  • Lack of dialogue between partners.
  • Differences in values and unwillingness to share the values of another.
  • Birth of a child. There are usually a number of reasons why infidelity happens.

Can I solve the problem on my own

You can solve difficulties in pairs yourself, but this path is quite long and difficult!

It is important for both partners to participate in the solution in order to achieve productive and desired results. Yes, it happens that when one person takes certain actions to save the family, the second partner is also inspired by this and joins in. As a result, the pair reaches the desired result faster.

Important! You may or may not be able to save your marriage in the same way, and this is normal. If you didn’t succeed in trying to save your family, perhaps the best solution is to thank each other and go your separate ways. Yes, it happens that this is the only right way for a couple, and this is normal. This does not mean that either of you is not good enough or did not try enough to save the marriage.

If you still want and can’t figure out the relationship on your own, contact a specialist psychologist-this will significantly reduce your precious time, which you can use in a happy relationship!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.